BY HELCIO FERREIRA
February 12, 2022

‘Unhappy married couple’ © Fizkes via iStock

Toxic relationships are not always easy to recognize, but they are often characterized by narcissistic and manipulative behavior on the part of the partner. These signs point in particular to an unhealthy association.

Toxic Relationship: Are You in One?

No one wants to willingly end up in a toxic relationship, and yet it happens time and time again that we end up with the wrong partner. Women suffer even more often from their partner’s toxic behavior (41%). At the end of the day, many are probably wondering how this could have happened in the first place: Most of the time, the relationship seems unbelievably perfect first, so the warning signs that appear may simply be overlooked.
We often get stuck in dysfunctional relationships when our self-esteem is low and we crave our partner’s approval. An unhealthy relationship can do a lot of damage, which is why it’s even more important to recognize it early.

Toxic relationship: What are the signs of it?

In any case, you should be aware if at any time in the relationship you have the feeling that something is wrong. If the relationship requires more effort than the satisfaction it can bring you, then that’s a major red flag.

The following signs appear again and again in toxic relationships and may indicate a dysfunctional relationship:

1. You can never please your partner

No matter how hard you try, the other party in the relationship always makes accusations that make you doubt your abilities or your worth. This can lead to annoying and silly questions like why are you wearing that today? And go up to: Why do you eat that? How do you yaw Or why do you breathe so hard?

2. Extreme mood swings

You never know how to treat your partner. One minute the person is showering you with declarations of love, the next he or she becomes cranky. This makes the relationship feel like a roller coaster ride. The beautiful moments often continue to diminish and the bad ones prevail.

3. You can’t be yourself

To be accepted and confirmed by your partner, you must do everything possible and pretend to be a different person than you are, when you venture to show your interests, you are automatically minimized.

4. Isolation

There are hardly any meetings with friends anymore, for example, because jealousy plays a fundamental role. Your partner tries to control you more and more and does not want you to meet with friends. Sometimes you even withdraw from your circle of friends out of shame, because your friends have told you many times that your partner is no longer good for you.

5. Handling

The toxic partner lies and distorts reality so much that you doubt yourself more and more and at some point, you no longer know if you are not imagining everything. He or she denies your perception and feelings and blames you. Sayings like: You’re just talking nonsense, Typical! You are always like that! o You’re just imagining it.

6. Selfishness

It is always about the problems and desires of the other couple. Shows little or no interest in the other person. People in narcissistic relationships are so busy maintaining their self-esteem that they don’t pay emotional attention to others.

7. Feelings of dependency

You feel more and more dependent on your partner and need their attention to be happy. It is especially difficult to break out of this dependency, especially if your circle of friends has already shrunk and you have low self-esteem.
Narcissistic people don’t have a feeling of us, or the two of us together will do this. They only have: I need you to make me feel good.

‘Sad frustrated girl feeling jealous and sitting alone after fight with friends’ @ Fizkes via iStock

Narcissism As a Common Pattern in Toxic Relationships

In toxic relationships, one person’s needs are dominant and the other person’s job is to satisfy them. And that’s why you have to be the way I want you to be. People in narcissistic relationships are so busy maintaining their self-esteem that they lack emotional attention to the other person.

How to Deal with a Toxic Relationship 

A toxic relationship is not just bad and unhealthy. The truth is that toxic relationships can make life miserable. Escaping from that is anything but easy, but it is possible once you have made the decision.

1. First of all, the most important thing is the analysis and recognition of what is. Write a pros and cons list of what went right and what went wrong in the last three months. If the ratio is 20:80, meaning most of your time is pretty agonizing and tiring, it might be time to consider breaking up.

2. Break up with your partner forever and don’t give them any chance to come back. The more space you give one “maybe”, the more you expect the other to change. This makes you prone to believe in words again and to engage with him or her again.

3. The risk of relapse in a toxic relationship is high. The memory of the perfect moments and the fading of the negative times make the risk very high. Stay strong because you don’t want to be trapped in an endless and damaging relationship.

4. Get help from friends and family. No matter how difficult the moment seems to you, now you need allies to support you and help you find yourself again.

5. Talk openly with your friends about what happened to you. Don’t just play the victim here, ask the people you trust to help you find joy in life again.

‘Unhappy couple quarreling, arguing’ © Shutterstock

What Happens After Ending a Toxic Relationship?

After a difficult relationship with a narcissistic partner, it is important to find your inner balance again. A good self-reflection can help prevent this from happening to you again.

There are times when a toxic relationship can damage a person so much that a few good talks between friends are not enough. You may be going through anxiety attacks, difficulty sleeping, in addition, you may also be depressed, in these cases, psychotherapy is a way to find the way back to a good quality of life.

It is always good to face your fears. This also automatically answers: Why would one enter into a relationship like this? Is it the fear of being alone, the fear of the ticking of the biological clock, or the feeling of not belonging to friends at romantic evenings?

Get over the pain of separation by fulfilling a goal or project that is important to you, perhaps a trip or purchase. Reward yourself for having managed to take the first step towards independence.